something i love to do is writing about my feelings, my thoughts. the trials, and often unsuccessful trials, to capture the ephemeral moments and convey them from how i feel in that brief and beautiful moment onto paper and pen, or in this case online hahah. but yeah, i’ve written things on my personal tumblr but for once i want to write and possibly share it with the writing community, more of a piece of work then a diary style post. so, to whoever is reading this, i hope you enjoy and i hope there are moments which you can relate to.
the indescribable feeling of love. not only the feeling but the moments, the actions, the whole thing of it. the ability to feel so at peace with the person you are when with someone you love, knowing that they bring out the best in you and they love the parts of you which you might not. the ability to forget about the rest of the world and your other problems because it feels like that is your world. that that moment, sitting-cuddling-not doing anything, feels like its the most important thing and you would do anything for it to last a life time. now before anyone thinks, she’s just a young girl in love, she doesn’t know what its really like. its not all that great. you have to let the fears of heartbreak, fears of letting go, the fears of falling too hard. and just let them go. don’t think about what you could lose, and just let whatever is going to happen, happen. because love, the greatest and yet the worst thing the world has to offer, will bring you pain and will bring you suffering – but it will bring you happiness, joy, extreme pleasure and glee. and that’s something you have to take a risk for because you never know the benefits it will bring.
now, love, for me. although only been in it once, still am and enjoying it like nothing ever before. its truly been a hell of a ride. never thinking i would fall so quickly and deeply in something which feels so right, it was more scary out of anything. and yet i’m letting my fear of the unknown and the fear of my crazy overwhelming feelings slowly fade away. i’m scared to love too hard, or love too much – in the fear that it seems over needed or crazy.
but, to that one person, and you know who you are (this isn’t just for me but to everyone in love with someone) – the love i have for you, not matter how small or how little, is something which makes me the happiest and luckiest person in the world. the ability i have to share experiences on such a different level than just friends or family is truly something to take advantage of. those quiet and serene moments where i truly appreciate sharing my moments and life with you are so special to me. i don’t know where i’m going with this, i don’t even know where i wanted to go with it or what i wanted it to be. but trying to explain these feelings, these feelings of letting someone into your life and heart, knowing that the feelings you have for them are so unique and hopefully returned back to you – can’t be explained. but only felt, and to my love – you make me feel crazy in love.