the venture of growing up

so, with summer soon starting for the younger and possibly more naive students, its making me realise that i am officially starting my gap year. majority of my other friends are all going off to uni, us having conversations about them and their soon to be new lives in different countries all around the world has dawned on me.

i’m not going to university.

at least not for now. this common ideology that once a student graduates high school, they should go straight to university is slowly diversifying. people head off straight into jobs, take 6 months off, take a whole year off – people even take multiple years off. the way i look at it, your teenage years and brief time after that is the only real time in your life which you can make true advantage of. you can still live with your parents without seeming (to our judgemental society) like a slacker, you can still do those things which you can’t when you’re thirty and seem to old and mature to do, and you can still do things which are planned for the youngers but you can pull it off anyway. you can take advantage of not having the responsibilities like children, full time jobs, employers and so on. you can allow temptation to guide your life and achieve things you never thought you would be able to, all on the continuous venture of growing up. creating yourself as a person and concentrating on what you actually like and what you actually want to learn. not the bullshit system of school which pushes theories and logic onto students which might not enjoy it and might not understand it no matter how hard they try.  i’ve moved on from the unattainable dreams of being the perfect daughter, perfect student, perfect person. i won’t get full marks in IB, i won’t make no mistakes, i won’t be exactly what everyone wants me to be.

but i will be me. and i’m most excited for this. with many life long friends leaving to other continents it will test our relationships, many will fail and be forgotten – while there will be others which distance cannot overcome. although i do something wish i was going to university this year, a fresh start and a kickoff for new experiences, i’m starting to cherish the choice i made to take a year off. i don’t think im mature enough for university just yet. knowing that i have this time off is letting me relax and destress, and trust me i need it.

to wrap things up, this continual journey of growing up isn’t just evident in your young years. yes graduating high school and starting my gap year has made me think of my life in a different way, but there are so many milestones in life. each one unique in its ways, and each one bringing its own challenges and stories to tell afterwards. what i’m saying is, life is precious. don’t let societal norms stop you from being your own person and growing until you truly feel great with who you are. i’m on that journey now, and i can’t wait to see where it leads me.

until next time,

amber xx.

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