why disappointment is the best way to get over someone 

you need something to help you get over someone? disappointment is what you’re looking for.

Nothing gets you over someone like them letting you down. it will push you away from them more than anything else could. there’s nothing like seeing the person you once cared for acting in a bad way or doing something that turns you against them and see them in no longer that positive and infatuated way you once used to. 

Disappointment will make you realise that they weren’t what you thought, what you wanted or needed, weren’t whatever you are thinking. It will make you realise that you don’t  need them, and that is an incredibly empowering emotion to feel. It will make you realise that you are better off without them and whatever they put you through, and you will be able to look back at it and say ‘thank god that’s over!’ 

I’m not saying that it’s a good feeling to go through, but it will help you see past that person and stop seeing a possibility of a future with them, no matter what that future might have been. in no ways am I saying that what I’ve been through recently was a big enough a factor in my life to be seen as my future, but I saw a lot in someone and they made me happy in more then one way which was really nice to feel after such a bad time recently. I tried, I really tried to keep it going, whatever ‘it’ was I’m still unsure. All I know is that it’s over now, and I’m not exactly upset that its over but the way things rapidly fell apart disappointed me, and that was enough for me to no longer want anything from you and so make me happily say that I am over it. Over our situation, over my feelings towards you. I am happy it happened, I still have positive feelings towards you but it just made me no longer think backwards towards you. 
It’s a new day, a new me as cliche as it sounds. And I’m ready to get another part of my life started. 

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a little something to do with love.

I wrote this to my lover and thought to share. I think love is the most powerful thing in the world. It draws together two people, two people who have dreamt of finding someone; “the” someone. And when they do it’s better then they could ever imagine. Right now that’s what I’m experiencing and I would never give it up.

“I seriously miss you jack. It’s not what I’ve ever experienced before. It’s not missing as much as it’s a craving and a routine. A part of me. A massive part of me, is you. Without you I have this whole space to be filled and it just doesn’t feel right without you. I don’t think it ever would. You make me happier then I could ever imagine, you make me laugh like I never knew was possible. And you’ve made me love more than I knew was physically and emotionally possible. You bring the best and the worst out of me but it’s okay for me to be at my worst because I know you’re still going to be there stroking my hair and it’s always going to be more than okay, and I hope you know that it’s the same for you. Jack, I say this with the most sureness I have ever established, you’re the one. The perfect man for me, you’re my sunshine, you’re my rainy days filled with comfort and slow warm joy. You’re the person I would change my life for, you’re it jack. And it’s going to be like that forever.”

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the best birthday for the best mother

after everything mothers do, they truly deserve to be spoilt rotten on their birthday! and really, every day of the year! i think as a teenage girl I often forget the purity of my mother and the never endless love and devotion she has to not only her two daughters but the rest of her family, blood or marriage, and all the friends and people she knows. as children growing up we often take our parents for granted and forget that like us they are getting older each day, and one day it’s going to have to be us taking care of them rather then them taking care of us.

it was my mothers birthday this weekend, and so I tried to do whatever I could to make her happy! I baked her her favourite cake, although rushed as she came home earlier than expected so it didn’t turn out as perfect as I hoped! I bought her a present she’d been wanting for ages and also wrote her a letter that brought her (and me) to tears!

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we then headed to the W-hotel for quite a lovely afternoon tea! With a bunch of close friends and family I know my mum celebrated well and happily! Personally I found the food really luxurious but maybe overdone for fanciness and maybe not so great as for a buffet! The selection was limited, although all crafted to high standards and characteristics! i must say the dessert selection was really quite spectacular! Below are some photos of the glitter dusted macaroons which glimmered as if they had a holographic sheen!

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I truly hoped my mum enjoyed her special day, she deserves it so much and I’m going to try harder to treat her well on more occasions!

Amber xx>

cheers to love

for my love – 

it’s a remarkable feeling; love.

the relaxed and yet ever breath taking journey of falling in love, while painful and extremely scary at times, is an experience which none others can compete with. because the harsh reality of love is: that when you open yourself up to someone, along with the fear and pain which you might encounter, you experience a perpetual happiness which you’ve never felt before. and its a beauty, an art. the art of finding someone so incredibly compatible to you that you swear by the fact that you’re soul mates. the reality of it though, is that once you fall in love, you could never imagine your life without it. and its a tug-o-war with your mind and your heart. whether you allow yourself to love someone, or whether you let the fear of losing it all win.

personally, the fear isn’t strong enough to ever make me stop falling in love with him every day. 

the ability to depend on someone, in a comfortable manner, is spectacular. because you trust them with yourself. you devote yourself to one person, hoping that they will hold you tightly in their own embrace and treasure you so highly in their soul and heart. without this close binding between two people, love wouldn’t be what it is. this “strong feeling of affection” is so much more than described as. its life changing. because when you love someone, you learn how to open yourself up for the better, how to love someone for their difficulties and insecurities, how to truly enjoy moments and make memories that will last lifetimes.

theres a certain privilege of being yours. being the one person you trust in so immensely, or want to spend time together. the privilege to be the person you love. it makes me want you to be proud of me and our love. when in love, you will constantly want to do more for the one you love. make them smile more, laugh more, enjoy more. whatever it is, you would do for them.

love, and the astounding emotions and feelings it brings to you. when you meet your other half, you can’t think of how your life would be without them, because without them it seems so much less than even just ordinary. it wouldn’t seem right. i’ve met someone, someone so perfect for me that if i ever lose them i’ll lose a part of myself because he brings out every good part of myself. i’m the best version of myself when you’re around. love makes you happy, it makes you appreciate what you have, and when you don’t have, you can depend on love to make it better. love is the sole reason for life. whether its through a lover, friends, family, passions and even hobbies. if you’re lucky enough to find something or someone you love enough to want to devote your being to make them happy and improve both your and their lives then thats an extraordinary thing.

and this is what you do for me, i love you dearly. 

transient moments

some people live life, while others truly experience it. whatever you do, if its just rolling by or if its taking a serious route to live the life you want and love, there are moments. moments which make you feel happy, in love, gratified, sorrowful, ecstatic, anxious or feel things you’ve never felt before. and thats life.

we live for the moments that make us look back and reflect. reflect on what has become, what has changed, what is going to happen. these transient moments which have the ability to feel so insignificant in the moment, but in actual fact; change your life.

irrevocable decisions and choices from your past which lead you to be the person you are today, make up who you are. thousands of small moments, all intertwined together to create a seemingly collected solar system. where the smaller, apparently random memories gravitate around major moments of your life stepping stones.

each moment colliding with others, interchanging and revolving around each other.

‘life’ is stated as being ‘the existence of an individual human being or animal.’ i think its more than that. its the continuous living, where life seems simple, and then unexpectedly a moment happens. whether its when you get your dream job, or you read a sad book and cry for hours, or you try on the perfect dress that makes you feel like a million dollars. moments that stand out.

its spectacular to think, how the brain keeps you living. it provides you with all the necessary nerves and abilities to control muscles and everything else it does. and yet it thinks and feels. it remembers things which have obviously stuck to you for a deeper reason. it has the ability to hold onto certain things, then one day you’re thinking back upon everything you’ve ever done and ever achieved and you suddenly remember that one day back in secondary school when you tripped in the corridor, or when you were walking through the arrival halls in the airport. and it takes you by chance and surprises you. because life is so much more than you imagine, theres days which seem so ordinary and uneventful, but one day you will have a memory from it, and it will surprise you to remember how you felt in that moment. temporariness.

then theres the moments that you remember for no apparent reason. such as finding a coin on the floor, or having a coffee, or even a specific bus ride. things you never think would shape who you have become and have become a part of you. but they have.

 

and thats something which i find breathtaking. that we are all on this road we call life, where we take it day by day and try to hope for the best. and while sometimes things don’t seem all that important, you never know what you’re going to remember in a month, or a year, or ten years. or never remember. and its life, you can’t try to remember everything, but take what you recall as being special and enjoy the reminiscence.

 

amber. xx

 

missing someone

i wrote this in a moment of missing my best friend. not just my best friend but my other half, my soulmate. it’s a lot more personal then I’ve ever shown here, i wrote it on my personal tumblr and suddenly feel like sharing it, for maybe some others will read it and find some truth and relevance for themselves.

missing you. it’s one of the hardest things to cope with. and i truly struggle sometimes because you make my world better in so many ways. it’s scary to think that i turn to you so much to make it all better, but i do. and i’m okay with that, because you do it so seamlessly and so perfectly that it feels so right.

days without you go along as normal, for some time that is. and then a wave crashes before me, a wave so powerful that it brings me to a longing to be by your side with a passion so strong it could reach the stars. days without you are normal, unaccompanied by the thousands of breaths of laughter that light up my face and eyes with the love and joy you bring to me. the sparkle of my smile, caused unquestionably by you, is what you say to love. but what i love, is the ease you have to make me enjoy, the never ending comfort you supply to me, the feeling of safety and being at home, the emotional well being of being constantly more than just content. you make me feel in love; in love with you, in love with myself and my life. because i love who I am with you, and i love how i live when you’re around.

and when you’re not, then that’s just a different story. and i can’t wait to be in love again.

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