you need something to help you get over someone? disappointment is what you’re looking for.
Nothing gets you over someone like them letting you down. it will push you away from them more than anything else could. there’s nothing like seeing the person you once cared for acting in a bad way or doing something that turns you against them and see them in no longer that positive and infatuated way you once used to.
Disappointment will make you realise that they weren’t what you thought, what you wanted or needed, weren’t whatever you are thinking. It will make you realise that you don’t need them, and that is an incredibly empowering emotion to feel. It will make you realise that you are better off without them and whatever they put you through, and you will be able to look back at it and say ‘thank god that’s over!’
I’m not saying that it’s a good feeling to go through, but it will help you see past that person and stop seeing a possibility of a future with them, no matter what that future might have been. in no ways am I saying that what I’ve been through recently was a big enough a factor in my life to be seen as my future, but I saw a lot in someone and they made me happy in more then one way which was really nice to feel after such a bad time recently. I tried, I really tried to keep it going, whatever ‘it’ was I’m still unsure. All I know is that it’s over now, and I’m not exactly upset that its over but the way things rapidly fell apart disappointed me, and that was enough for me to no longer want anything from you and so make me happily say that I am over it. Over our situation, over my feelings towards you. I am happy it happened, I still have positive feelings towards you but it just made me no longer think backwards towards you.
It’s a new day, a new me as cliche as it sounds. And I’m ready to get another part of my life started.
jealousy, can make even the purest people in the world impure. it clouds your vision and impairs your beliefs that you once held so strongly. it convinces you that you don’t have enough, when you have by far more then you could ever need and more than a lot of people in the world have.
don’t get me wrong, i appreciate my life so much. we all do, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes we don’t appreciate it enough. until you have everything taken away from you and left with nothing, i don’t think any of us would realise what it would be like to have absolutely nothing. we take for granted the roofs over our heads, the fact that we all carry thousand dollar phones in our hands as if its a basic staple to our lives, ordering an indulgent dessert doesn’t seem to cross our minds as being a delicacy. If we go shopping and see something we want but can’t buy, we instantly hate our lives and get shunned down by the fact that you don’t have yet another materialist item to sit in your room when you use one of the other tens of these items.
jealousy and envy make us into monsters. we see what someone else’s life is like and we grow an anger towards them due to the fact that they have it better than us. society has brought us up with the idea that you need this, you need to look like this, do this. have a job, a car, a nice house, a lover, the ability to travel, a good family. the list goes on and on. and as soon as you don’t check another item off the list you feel as if you’ve failed. but failed what?! the constant pressure of being good enough for people who might not even think of you? we all try to impress people we don’t really need to impress, the ‘it’ people of society. when in reality all you need to impress is yourself.
we are all criminals trapped in the cage of envy. we allow ourselves to grow negative at what we don’t have rather then what we do have. as a teenager i feel so much pressure to be ‘enough’. to look good enough, to dress well enough, to do well enough. but who gets to decide what ‘enough’ is, apart from me? we make standards for ourselves that aren’t even based on our own goals but what we think society wants. i constantly see girls my age who look better and have better lives and i feel a certain anger towards them which i shouldn’t because i deserve to be happy with what i have and not what others have. it is a great irony that what we want most is what others have.
i need to learn to be grateful of what i have, and learn to be happy for others when they come into good fortune instead of being covetous.